by: Lula and Stephanieeeeeee
(Penitent Women and Authority slackers that we are, we promised we’d get back on the review wagon, pronto, lest we suffer death by feminist Lisa firing squad!)
We don’t really know what to say about Chapter 8 other than this: We agree wholeheartedly.
Is that a good enough review?
*crickets**
“I need to announce that the stake president has instituted a new program for the Relief Societies in the stake,” the woman conducting a Relief Society meeting in my ward announced grudgingly. “It’s called ‘The Bright Spot.'” She held a poster of a smiling woman with her hair tied up in a red polka-dotted kerchief. “Each month there will be a stack of cards here,” she explained, “with a task on it – like washing the windows or cleaning out the attic of our homes. We’re all supposed to take one of the cards and…do what it says.” She sighed, then looked up at the group: “It wasn’t my idea.” A slight groan went around the room before the speaker – a very committed member who would by no means identify herself as a feminist – continued. She explained that the Relief Society presidency was protesting the program and we’d have to wait and see what happened. I didn’t see anyone take a task card. The poster stayed on the wall for a few weeks, and then quietly disappeared.
Dorice Williams Elliott makes several points throughout this essay, this opening paragraph included, on what she calls an “unsettling phenomenon”: the assumption in the LDS Church that male priesthood leaders have the right and responsibility to direct women in every aspect of their lives. She understands that they direct the lives of men as well, but that their position is different in that all men have the authority to lead on some level, even if it’s only in their homes. Women will never have that authority, a topic recently discussed here.
The Relief Society president will never have the right to “institute a program for men to clean their offices and to counsel them on how to wear their underwear.” This last part made us chuckle. What would we divinely instruct men to do if we had that chance? Hmm….under no circumstance shall you hang any dead, hairy, doey-eyed carcass on the walls of your living rooms…if it offends thine beautiful, vegetarian spouse. Or, how about aiming a little truer around that toilet. Especially at night. Do all men think they have night vision? Stop the madness!
She defines several subtle messages that we as women in the church receive constantly, practices of which we may be painfully unaware. We do seem to have a lot of male voices counselling us, speaking for us and teaching us, saying “Sisters. I have a message for you..” How many times have we heard, “you, sisters..” at the beginning of a talk. Language makes a difference right down to the exact subjective personal pronoun. I/You language that reinforces the difference between “I” (the man) and “you” (the woman) and implies that the man knows more about what is appropriate to women than women do themselves. It’s like when your boyfriend or husband or your father says…”but you don’t want to do that..” Grrr.
Scriptures and virtually all modern commandments and official pronouncements tend to use male-gendered pronouns and other group nouns (like “mankind”) as if they were universal. Even in the Relief Society and Young Women manuals. In many church materials the word “mother” and “woman” are used interchangeably.
When women speak in sacrament meetings we are generally given the shorter times. At women’s conferences, men are virtually always listed as the main speakers. We’ve never heard of women speaking at priesthood meetings. Up until recently women never spoke in general conference, and when they do now they’re “sandwiched between other male speakers.”
And last of course always last, that women are treated like we are all carbon copies of each other, exactly alike. We all like to cook, clean, sew, do crafts, babysit the neighbor’s kids, tie quilts, grind our wheat, and can pears (ok, we here are superhero canners, but that’s beside the point). Probably must of us don’t appreciate when we are told the only pressures we feel are when our kitchens are too small, or that we are sad and lonely when we can’t be married or be mothers, or that all we need to learn about astronomy are the words to ‘Twinkle, twinkle little star..’ (see foot note 13)
Some of her answers to these issues should be obvious to any woman (we think anyway)-
– Give women equal time and equal importance when they speak.
– Women leaders need to be present at meetings where important decision-making regarding women in their wards are made.
– More women should be quoted in manuals, talks, and church magazines, addressed to men as well as women.
– All current printed materials should be carefully screened for sexist language and for stereotyping.
– Reinstate women giving blessings to other women, and the priesthood powers that “are bestowed on both men and women in the endowment ceremony could be further defined and practiced.”
Points of discussion:
– What do you think of Elliott’s list of answers to these issues? Do you agree that “even short of priesthood for women, many major changes could be made within the existing church structure which would work toward women’s increased spiritual growth and their sense of worth?”
– What would you say if you had an acknowledged voice to say it in? Would you also like to tell our leaders that “we don’t liked to make homemade marshmallows out of our food storage?”
– We’d be curious to hear if anyone else has a story to share that is similar to what Elliott expresses here, i.e., the “Bright Spot” campaign or the “please have the women wear slips under their skirts” incident.
– How do you feel about the language we hear in general conference, the Ensign, and our lesson manuals, particularly the use of the I/you pronouns? Ever noticed this before?